Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Having a random hookup so left but love u
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize