actually, I'm a sock model
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
