im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
