he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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