There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
