Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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