I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
