What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
