And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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