Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
