It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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