i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think i have herpe
just one?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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