It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
