u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
