so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
