Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
