conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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