I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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