I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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