he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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