Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
And then he peed in my hair
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