how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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