if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
