I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
