talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
