So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
