Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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