Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
