I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
