his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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