He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
