I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize