If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
