evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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