he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
