So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
