It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
