ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my shit smells like andre
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
