You made me cry and you don't even care
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize