we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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