I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
