The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
