either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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