i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
