I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
