he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
