yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
