I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
did you just send me my own nude
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize