Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm really busy with my period
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