It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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