I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
