sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
