so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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