I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize