just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
