she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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