Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
