Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize