He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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