so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
