Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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