Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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