Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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