I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
