Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize