dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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