She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
