Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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