You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
