we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
